The Circus

Dalip Singh Wasan asked:


Joint family system is breaking

Dalip Singh Wasan, Advocate.

Even in India joint family system is breaking. All women including women in India had been having one desire in heir mind that they shall be establishing a home of their own in which they had been desiring that there shall be one husband, they themselves, their children and no one more. That is the reason the family concept defined in all the government documents include these people and if the parents of the husband are allowed to be remain in this family they are not called members of the family, but they are called dependants and they are allowed to live with the family and are maintained by the family because these are social obligations and nothing more.

The people may remain with one family till there are family obligations. The daughters in the family are to be married and they shall go out of this family. They shall need dowry when they are married and the marriage party is to be given a good welcome and service and therefore, all the brothers in the family must join in this venture. The old parents should not be allowed to suffer and bear all these expenses because they are already short of resources. Similar is the position when a daughter becomes widow and is thrown out of the house of her in laws. The parents and the brothers are obliged to keep this daughter with them and maintain her. Similar is the position if the son in law is not maintaining the wife and she comes back to the house of her parents. These daughters of the house are the obligations of the house from where they had gone to the houses of their in laws. These are our traditions and every house is liable to obey these traditions.

There are families when they want to break, they are facing difficulties because the old parents are being left all alone and they are not having any source of income. They are having sons or son but none of them is taking them with him and maintain them. If the parents have got resources with them, here is a tradition that the sons should serve these old parents who are not able to do anything because of old age or because of some infirmity. The sons should keep such parents with them and should maintain them because there are no provisions of old age people house in this country and therefore, only the sons and daughters are obliged to keep these old people with them and they should not break the family of the parents and run away from these responsibilities because all the people around shall be passing adverse remarks against such children who leave their parents helpless.

It is correct that the woman who has been brought in the house wants a separate house of her own where she should be the master and all in the family should obey her. The most troublesome game is the maintenance of the kitchen. Here in India the people prepare fresh food daily and very rarely they utilize backed food purchased from the market. Similarly they do not utilize packed food. The women do not want to take up all these responsibilities and prepare food for so many members in the family and that could be one of the reason they are breaking from the joint family. They are not tolerating the adverse remarks passed by the sisters and mothers of their husbands and that could be another reason they are breaking the joint family system. The woman cannot tolerate another woman in the house though she may be the sister of her husband or the mother of her husband. Similarly she would not be tolerating all other women who are wives of the brothers of their husbands. They want that they should be all alone in the house and even they shall desire that their daughter should go when she is young and should not remain in this house. The women of today are having a desire in their heart that they should be sent to a house where there is no mother in law and no sister in law. They also want that the parents of the husband are well settled and they shall not be dependant upon the husband.

The joint family system had been breaking and this process is still continuing. We have noted that in some house the families are breaking, but they are keeping the business joint and they are running their business and are sharing the profits as agreed upon. This is the best process because people from one family could have faith in each other and they shall be running profitable business or other ventures. If we conduct a survey, we shall find that women have started liking living separately and they are not in favour of joint family system and therefore, the men should not compel them to maintain a joint family. It shall be in interest of the house to separate the son when he is married and it should be done without any further delay because such a course shall bring peace, happiness, prosperity and joy in the house. In joint family system there is no happiness and each house is turned into Kurkshetra which is not good for the house and for the children of each couple because they are not looked after properly in this crowd and they are not given proper education, proper training and proper adjustment in life. Joint family system is a crowd and nothing more and it has lived its part and should not be continued in the present age where the parents have got so many responsibilities towards their children.

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REUBEN

Marcia Chumbley asked:


Meal Time - A Family Affair for Many Generations

In the past, it was traditional that at all three mealtimes, breakfast, lunch and dinner, the family would all gather round the dinner table to eat. Someone - usually one of the children - would set the table, Mom or Grandma (or both!) would prepare a healthy, delicious meal which would be laid out on the table. Dishes would be passed around the table, a prayer would be said, and clean-up would take place before any children could play.

While that probably reminds you of your own childhood, how often does it take place in your own home? Having a family mealtime can afford you with a lot more benefits than you might think. Sure it takes longer, and sure, everyone has to bend their ever-so-busy schedules to it, but just imagine some of the wonderful benefits of a family mealtime!

A family mealtime can enable you to be able to teach your children how to cook - properly! Many children today simply can’t cook anything out of a microwave, and don’t know how to follow a basic recipe. Using family mealtimes as instructional times can be a wonderful opportunity for you to teach your children how to cook good, healthy meals. Showing your children and grandchildren the basics, such as how to time cooking many dishes at once, food preparation and substitutions, the mathematics involved in cutting a recipe in half or doubling it, and many other cooking lessons can be invaluable later in life. Passing on of family recipes from one generation to another generation.

Having a family meal also allows you to bring your family closer together as a family unit and to involve the entire family with an activity all at once. In today’s world, how often does your entire family get to sit down with one another at the same time? Use this fantastic time as a way to start conversations between members of your family. Discuss the high points and low points of each family member’s day. Learn how your children are doing in school and extra-curricular activities (if they are not home schooled). Most of all this provides an environment where your family can talk to each other and listen in an open forum. Grandparents offer discussion of history and family traditions.

This can also bring your family closer together in other ways. You can have each family member plan one meal for the week, or have your family plan meals together. Use this as a time to think about the nutritional value of each meal, to incorporate all of the food groups, and to also make sure that everyone has a chance to eat their favorite foods! The ideas are limitless, and it will encourage an atmosphere of sharing, kindness and caring.

Let each member of your family take part in mealtime, from setting the table to taking turns doing the dishes afterwards. It is all about family participation and sharing. Include every member of your family and be sure to be absolutely firm about this aspect of your lives. Many times schedules and appointments can interfere with family dinners, but this is a very important part of your family life, and it should be treated as such by all members of the family.

Meal time isn’t simply the time for us to eat, it is a time for us to come together as a family unit and to strengthen our bonds together. Whether you can eat one meal together a day or three, it is important to set aside at least one meal a day as a “family meal”. Your family will thank you for it!



WILLIAMS